That is one righteous turd!

Gaarggh inquiring about a fake pile of crap on the counter at the Halloween store.

Gaarggh: "How much is this turd?"

Sales lady: "I'm sorry. It's not for sale."

Outside the store a few moments later -

"That turd was righteous. It was battery operated and made gurgling noises."

"I cant believe it wasn't for sale!! Why is it in the store if they don't sell them!?!"

"And did you notice that it was turned on? So you know she came in and flipped it on first thing this morning. Do you think it's part of the opening checklist?

Unlock door. Check.
Turn on open sign. Check.
Turn on turd..."